Today’s lesson on my life:
I’ve learned that when you follow your dreams, it’s not an easy, clear cut process.
There are problems. Typos. Flaws. Errors. Formatting issues. Lots and lots of them. You don’t always see them, but you learn about them and then slowly you fix each and every one. But there’s still more. You shed many tears trying to perfect things, but it’s impossible. You don’t give up. However, there are ALWAYS more.
People laugh in your face. Some truly support you. Some admire your ambition, but deep down they are shaking their head in wonder, “Why is she doing this to herself?”
You question your own sanity, which in turn makes you wonder. This wonder is followed up with, “Not every person who tries to accomplish their goals is insane.” This comforts you, yet you still wonder.
You look deep within yourself, questioning how much of this is passion and how much is obsession. You decide there is absolutely no way to make a good choice on that one and as long as you’re not hurting anyone or yourself, then it’s okay.
Musicians, artists, and actors make you feel safe and inspired. You have a mutual understanding, though the art form is very different. Each of you have a story to tell but a different method of telling it. These are the only type of people you can truly feel yourself with.
Your head thinks of things that most heads don’t imagine. You go to work and realize your coworkers are thinking about work. Your head swims between fiction, fantasy, and truth and you feel inspired in the most strange or dismal situations.
When you talk to your consumers you truly believe if they put their mind to it they can accomplish it. They feed off that belief because your sincerity flows from your body constantly. You get stressed, but still find the silver lining. Sometimes they hate it, sometimes they love it, but usually it’s somewhere in the middle.
You look at yourself in the mirror and never say, “if” but always say, “when.” You cringe at the lack of support and feel defensive at the sarcasm, however, it drives you to be sure to make it happen. It gives you more purpose.
You’ve failed numerous times and know that you will continue to do so, probably forever, but you are okay with that failure because you’ve made people laugh or think along the way. You quit caring about the criticism and learn to enjoy the ride.
I guess when push comes to shove, you learn that you are far from perfect; but if anyone is going to screw up, you realize you’re okay with it being you. At least your mistakes give you character. You learn to tuck your tail between your legs and keep trying.
So, write I do.